Food & Fitness

Q: I'm 20 years old (in a month) and I've been in recovery from anorexia for about 9 months now. I eat pretty normally now, except for a few quirks I have. But that body image thing won't give. I know that I am not naturally stick thin, and it makes me crazy that I just look "average". I don't think I'm fat, but I don't think I'm thin, either. I feel funny when people look at me because I'm nervous they are going to notice that I gained weight and that I "couldn't keep it up". I was caught early, and while I know deep down that that's a good thing, it makes me feel that I wasn't ever sick enough to deserve help.

So there I am, at 1 a.m., relaxing in front of a mind-numbing - but somehow intoxicating - fashion show on cable. The girls look dead and fiercely alive all at once, and I am reminded of caged panthers at the zoo, sleek and nonchalant, pacing and intent, angry and on display. And I look at these mile high stick people and I can't decide what I think about them. Part of me is jealous and admiring, still, after all these years. Grow up! I admonish myself. Get with it.

Q: I was wondering if you could help me out with a problem. I have tried and tried to go on a diet - I even tried diet pills and they just don't work! I work out sometimes, I play basketball all the time, but it never seems to help any!!! All my friends are really skinny and pretty and I feel like I shouldn't even be friends with them 'cause of what they look like. I have a lot of friends but I have also been made fun of.

Annie is 15. She has always felt OK about her body, but during this past year, she has started to feel uncomfortable in her own skin. I really need to avoid looking in the mirror. It just depresses the hell out of me. What does it take to get a body like Jennifer Aniston? I mean really. Because maybe I could do it. You never know. Like do you have to eat only fruit and vegetables, and drink only water? Because I might be able to do that. Except for weekends I guess. I don't think I could do without pizza and stuff like that on the weekends.

Dear WholeMom, My 15-year-old is what we used to call "pleasantly plump." She should lose about ten pounds, but she has stabilized at that weight and doesn't binge. She has a very pretty face, beautiful curly hair and a great personality. She is a good student and popular in school. Most of the year she is very happy. The problem is the summer, when kids spend so much time swimming. Most of her friends, both girls and boys, are very thin. Some look almost anorexic. I have tried to talk to her about self esteem not being about externals, like the body, but she is a sensitive girl and feels shy about the fact that she doesn't have a model's body. She has passed up invitations to go to the beach and the pool with friends because of her weight, yet she doesn't seem to have the motivation to stick to the diets I have suggested.

(Written for Chics, Guys Welcome.) All the advice that I've seen to teens regarding healthy body image (this site included, even some of my stuff) decries the media. The media that feeds us image after image of skinny until we hate ourselves for having fat molecules within five miles of us. We have to accept ourselves, this advice says, for who we are. We are not Pamela, not Jennifer, nor Kate, nor Heidi. We are real people with real curves and real muscles underneath. Celebrate your authentic sexy humanness!! OK. So who's partying? After many a sermon like this that I have listened to or read, (not that there's anything WRONG with that, mind you), I do not see throngs of girls burning pictures of Calista Flockhart outside of Spa Lady.

Caryn is very concerned about her daughter, Brooke, who looks too thin to her. She feels that Brooke may have gone too far with her diet. Caryn: Did you eat anything? Therapist's Comments on Eating Disorders (I) Teenage girls growing up today are bombarded about weight, diets, body image, and how they look from a very young age. The messages are constant, contradictory and confusing. On the one hand we are constantly being told : " you can't be too thin," " don't eat too much," " watch the fat," "exercise." On the other hand our mothers, teachers, and doctors are concerned that we might be too thin. So what's the scoop? How to find the balance? Brooke: I had a half a bagel.

Caryn is very concerned about her daughter, Brooke, who looks too thin to her. She feels that Brooke may have gone too far with her diet. Caryn: Did you eat anything? Brooke: I had a half a bagel. Caryn: Did you put anything on it? Brooke: Mom, who are you? The Food Nazi? Caryn: I never see you eat anymore. You're getting so skinny. Brooke: Well, who told me I was fat in the first place? Caryn: I said that you should exercise.

Imagine your parents gave you a car for your 16th birthday. It's not new or anything, but it doesn't have too many miles on it. It's an OK color, not your favorite, but OK. It's got two or three nicks or scratches, but it's pretty cool, and it moves like crazy. Now imagine that you looked at that car, the one that takes you to school every morning, the one that takes you to the mall every weekend, the one that feels so good on the highway, with the windows rolled down, imagine that you looked at that car, and saw every bump and every scratch and the wrong color and the wrong upholstery and you hated it.

Sharona, 17, is standing in front of the fridge at midnight, looking for something.... Hello refrigerator, you good friend. You are there for me, all right. Yeah, who else can I turn to at 11:45 PM on a school night, when I'm bored and I'm all alone? Who else has something to make me feel good? Okay, some turkey, some nice white meat turkey, that's not too fattening, but hey let's whip up a little Russian dressing and how about some chips on the sandwich and on the side? Hey, that's good

Melanie, 13, is disturbed about her weight. Her mother thinks she looks fine, but she doesn't quite make it into her bikini. Summer is coming, and she's beginning to panic. Could this be the beginning of anorexia? I cant stand looking in the mirror. I'm so fat - all these bulges and rolls of lard on my legs and hips - at least 8-10 pounds worth! I wish I could look like Amy. She looks great in those jeans she wore today, and I saw all the guys looking at her. I even saw Steve staring at her when she walked past us at lunch. I wish.... My Mom says I look just fine, but what does she know? In a few weeks we??ll all start going to the beach again, and I'll just die when everyone sees me in my swimsuit with all this fat.

Body weight, fat and dieting have captured the minds and imaginations of teenagers and adults alike. "Thin is in" and has stayed "in" for a long time now. The intense fear of becoming fat is usually not alleviated by any weight loss that the person achieves. To give you an idea of how much of a hold weight loss has on us, consider this: an estimated $33 billion is spent in the U.S. each year on diet books, over-the-counter medications, health club memberships and low calorie foods! Melanie is no different than millions of other teenagers and adults around the world.

By Anonymous, age 16: One morning my father caught me spilling my breakfast down the sink. It would not have been a big deal, except that he happens to be a pediatrician, and I happened to have just lost twenty pounds in the last two months. He put two and two together, and freaked out. Welcome to Parentsville. The confusing thing is, everyone, including my mother, has been telling me how great I look lately. The woman whose kids I take care of in the evenings said that I was her "inspiration" to go on a diet.

By C, age 20. My eating disorder really started when I had the flu and I lost a few pounds. When I went back to university, I stopped eating carbohydrates (I liked that I was getting thinner) and I lost more weight. On spring break I lost even more. I wasn't really aware of what I was doing really - just that I couldn't eat much at all. I think this may have been due to breaking up with my boyfriend at that time and other men problems previous to that AND the transition of going to university 200 miles from home.

Have you been wondering why your 12-year-old daughter is gaining so much weight? Have you been concerned that your 15-year-old looks too thin? To find out about teenage girls and body image, we interviewed Martin Fisher, M.D., chief, Division of Adolescent Medicine, North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset, New York. Dr. Fisher shared his views, based on 20 years of experience in adolescent medicine. According to Dr. Fisher, girls experience their major height spurt early in puberty (the time of hormonal changes which bring about physical changes,) about six months to a year before their first period. (It's interesting to note that in the 1850s, the average age for a first period was 16; the average age dropped a year every generation until it stopped at 12 1/2.

Teenage girls growing up today are bombarded about weight, diets, body image, and how they look from a very young age. The messages are constant, contradictory and confusing. On the one hand we are constantly being told : " you can't be too thin," " don't eat too much," " watch the fat," "exercise." On the other hand our mothers, teachers, and doctors are concerned that we might be too thin. So what's the scoop? How to find the balance? I think that is the million dollar question of the twenty first century.

Have you read Did You Eat Anything: A Drama yet? By Dr. Chane Deitcher, PhD. This is a classic example of a conversation between Mother and daughter who want to connect, yet lack the skills to communicate. The Mother is clearly concerned about her daughter's well being. She is attempting to convey the message that she cares. The daughter, on her part, is expressing her anger, yet at the same time indicating a need for the Mother's approval. Each is attempting to reach out, yet neither side knows how to connect. The overall experience is one of frustration and distance. The Mother begins by focusing on the food. Through the food she is expressing her concern for the daughter's well being.

1. Gotta Keep Moving: Why drive two blocks? Walk there, if it's safe. Crowded parking lot? Forget it...park on the far end, and walk - if it's light outside. Talking on the phone? Walk around. Clean your room as you analyze what everyone said at the party. (Productive gossip, I call it.) CAUTION: Do get plenty of sleep at night, and DO NOT EVER EXERCISE OR "KEEP MOVING" TO THE POINT OF EXHAUSTION! 2. No Couch Potatoes, Please: Watching TV? Surfing and Chatting? Are you accompanied by a bag of chips? Watch out! Sitting and vegging occasionally is great - - but for many hours a day, it's no good.

Learn from the Bears and do a bit more hibernating. Increased hours of darkness make it easier for your mind and body to get into slumber mode a little earlier. Teens typically get way too little sleep. Your growing brain needs rest! The Heat is On. It's getting really cold outside, and your family has the thermostat cranked up to Maui levels. Cozy, maybe. But people who spend loads of time in a heated home without breathing real air are inhaling loads and loads of germs. (Some docs say that it's the lack of fresh air in a closed house that causes sickness in the wintertime - NOT the cold.) Anyway, make like Faith and BREATHE! Stressed? Do Less. Try starting that new project, new workout, whatever, for five minutes at a time.

I had always been one of the smaller kids in my class throughout grade school. In fact, it wasn't until my ninth grade growth spurt that I finally towered over the giants that are my mother and sister, standing five feet, two inches and five feet, no inches tall, respectively. To say my size irked me would be an understatement. Besides for being physically irregular (read: the size of an action figure), I was also painfully shy by nature, and the lack of attention from my peers didn't improve the situation.

Everyone wants their kids to eat more vegetables, right? Here are 10 tried and tested ways to do it. And no fair dipping them in chocolate fondue. By Ruth Lockshin 1. Convince yourself first - find out more about vegetables. Why do I want my kids to eat them anyway? How will it make their lives better? Short answer: Vegetables are really, really important for getting all kinds of vitamins and minerals that are difficult to get anywhere else. Long answer: Read books that can help you understand how vegetables make us healthier. Some of my favorite sources that answer my questions about this without going into organic chemistry are: * The New Laurel's Kitchen: A Handbook for Vegetarian Cookery and Nutrition, by Laurel Robertson, et al.

Your big test is tomorrow. You feel like you will never make it - your energy is zapped, your concentration is gone. Then you drink a tall glass of orange juice with a ton of crushed ice, a cup of coffee with some nutmeg sprinkled on top, and eat a handful of raisins. What a difference, right? Now you feel that you may be able to do it, after all. You certainly bought yourself a few hours of studying, anyway. So what's your best recipe? Do you have a favorite pre-test, pre-game, pre-date snack? Or what about a post break-up mood lifter? (Hot chocolate is a favorite.) Post your best recipes and the times in your life when you use them.