How Do I Get Myself to Love My Body?
I'm 20 years old (in a month) and I've been in recovery from anorexia for about 9 months now. I eat pretty normally now, except for a few quirks I have. But that body image thing won't give. I know that I am not naturally stick thin, and it makes me crazy that I just look "average". I don't think I'm fat, but I don't think I'm thin, either. I feel funny when people look at me because I'm nervous they are going to notice that I gained weight and that I "couldn't keep it up". I was caught early, and while I know deep down that that's a good thing, it makes me feel that I wasn't ever sick enough to deserve help. There are so many suffering way more than me. Anyhow, I have the curves and stuff that are so out of fashion. I wish there was someway to change body structure. My hips are so wide and my tummy sticks out especially after I eat...but it always sticks out. I'm trying to like myself and know that I'm good - but it's tough.It is wonderful that you are able to express these things, and that you are in recovery. Anorexia takes so many lives - - it is truly a credit to you that you managed to overcome this illness. I hope that you have the proper network of support to help you stay healthy.
As to body image, it truly is difficult in these times of Baywatch and even Friends to deal with a less-"perfect" - than Pamela or Jennifer body. What all of us must keep in mind, however, is that we each have our own beauty, and the essence of that beauty is being healthy and strong. Making our bodies work and function to their fullest potential is the sexiest thing around - look at the WNBA players!
Being thin and angular so that we look like we are about to die is an ideal which parts of society have pushed and which we must actively reject. Who cares what shape is "in?" I think weak, paper thin women just look like they are about to expire - and like they can't lift a knapsack if they tried.
Exercising is the surest way to love your body and to get it into the best shape YOU can. So find a sport you love, and just do it! After a while, you will love your body for what it does for you.... Also, please stay in touch with a therapist and nutritionist. Anorexia is a haunting illness, and you may need the support in the future....
Good Luck!!
-Sara-
