Friendships

It's a winter morning and the members of my mother's group and I are drinking coffee and tossing around ideas for getting more sleep. Our babies, all around six-months-old, are lying on a big quilt on the living room floor, gurgling and shaking rattles. I see my daughter, Ilana, gaze at Beth's son, Matthew, the one baby in the group whom she has "known" since birth. Ilana drops her rattle and starts kicking her legs, squealing with excitement. Matthew returns the look and chortles. That afternoon, I write in the book I keep for Ilana: "She seems to have a thing for Matthew - and I think it's mutual." Abby and Nancy, who met in a childbirth preparation class, jokingly call their kids, Leah and Elliot, "Lamaze siblings.

Our four-year-old son doesn't have friends yet. He is content to play with children in his nursery school and once in a great while will play with one of them in the afternoon, but he hasn't formed friendships. Should I be worried? Is there anything I should be doing?

My five-year-old occasionally complains that nobody likes her and nobody wants to play with her. As far as I can tell, this is not really the case. It seems to me that she has plenty of friends. I don't see her as maladjusted enough to require therapy, but there's a gap between her feelings and reality. What does it mean when she says this and how should I respond?