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Sunday, 25 March 2001

Thirteen-Year-Old Bothered by Father's Day

Written by  Anonymous

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QDear WholeDad,


Hi! I'm a 13-year-old girl and the youngest of 5. My father passed away six years ago. It didn't seem to bother me then but now it does. I really miss him more now than ever. Is this normal???



ADear Katie,

I would think that what you are experiencing is absolutely normal. At the age of seven, the level of maturity of most kids is nowhere near that which it takes to comprehend and process the tragedy of a loss as great as losing a father. Not only that, your family probably tried to soften the impact by shielding you as much as possible.

As you grow older, with your values beginning to take shape, you began to realize the depth of such a loss. I would imagine too, that a 13-year-old has a more in-depth relationship with her father than a seven-year-old who might be much more in touch with her mother. You are also probably seeing your friends interacting with their fathers which makes it even harder.

Each person needs to mourn a loss in his own way and in his own time. This is your way and your time. Perhaps you should share your feelings with your mother and older siblings. They may be willing to fill you in on aspects of your father that you may not know about. While this may not ease the pain, knowing more about him may give you more understanding about him and allow you to feel that you are compensating for the lack of time you had with him.




Last modified on Wednesday, 01 January 2014 12:14
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