Dear WholeFamily, What if the person you are interested in was your first love? My best friend is going through this, and she hasn't had the greatest marriage. Now that she is interested in her first love, hubby is all attentive and sweeping her off her feet! I advised her to continue to talk and be honest with her husband: to talk it to death basically. She seems to be getting worse "in love" with her first love, as she puts it. She has two kids in their teens who drive her crazy to add. One of her worst fears is insecurity and expenses. Let me know so I can help her better than I have been. Dear Friend, When a marriage has become routine and the teenagers are driving you crazy, it's very seductive when an old love reappears and gives you a taste of something fun and exciting.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been married almost 8 years, with 3 children. I have not been the best husband. I have treated my wife badly. But I have come to realize this and she knows this. I have been doing better and she also agrees, but we no longer have sexual relations. Now we do have 3 children which has a lot to do with it and because of our work schedules it is hard. Sometimes she seems to want but when the kids are asleep then it changes.

Dear WholeFamily, About 2 years after my husband and I were married, I started feeling like all he wanted out of me was sex. We have now been married for 9 years. It's still the same. He has never been able to hold me, or touch me in any way without it being sexual. We've tried going to a therapist, but he says it's stupid and quits going. After we get into an argument over whether or not it's sex or to cuddle, we always have sex, but the cuddle never happens.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband dislikes the company of my son. My son wants to come visit me for my birthday. My husband told me that when my son comes to visit, he would go out for the day, as he doesn't want to be in my son's company. #1- What do I tell my son, who I know is going to ask me where my husband is? #2- Am I being unreasonable in expecting my husband to "grow up" and deal with it? I told him that when people get married they sometimes do things they may not be comfortable with out of love and respect for the other person. Am I wrong? This is not a one-time thing, as my husband has told me that he will never be around at any point when my son is.

Dear WholeFamily, I'm a divorced man with a son age 11. I have fallen in love with a wonderful divorced mother of two daughters with "divorce baggage". She has a very troubled daughter and I suggested to my friend that she should go into therapy. Now she feels I'm intrusive for suggesting it and wants to break off the relationship. I love this person and her daughters for sharing so much wonderful time with my son and me, but now she's angry and doesn't want to see me.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been remarried for almost two years. We both have teenagers. I am very easy going, but when it comes to bathing, it is a must. My kids have to shower and wash their hair everyday, yet when my husband's kids are over, two girls, 13 and 16, he does not make them bathe every day or wash their hair. This upsets me so much. I would think they would want to do this. He says it is not important to him, but it is to me. My husband gets upset if the kids do not rinse out their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, This is my second marriage. In the first marriage my husband was too much, always wanting sex and all over me, very possessive. The possessiveness is what made me run away from the marriage. We had a beautiful girl who is now six. I'm now in my second marriage. I am totally in love with him. When we met we were always making time for one another. Planning things together and making love at least once a day. He did special things for me and was very romantic and gentle. That is why I married him.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been married to my present husband for five years. It is the second marriage for both of us. Both of our spouses from previous marriages were having affairs. I have two children from my first marriage and my husband has four children from his previous marriage. Our marriage started out great and we got along perfectly. Recently, we have started growing apart. My husband drinks a lot, he tends to get violent when he drinks.

My husband (41) and I (37) are just now completing our first year of marriage. It's the second marriage for both of us. Until...

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband and I are both dealing with grief issues. I lost my dad one year ago, and my husband recently lost his father. I was hoping this would be a process we could go through together, however, he is in complete retreat mode. He sleeps and works and has not been communicating with me at all. When others ask how he is doing, he says "fine." I know he is hurting, but he won't allow me to help him! In addition, he has not been there to support me! He is a "macho" type policeman, who has buried lots of junk, and I think he is afraid to feel his emotions.