Marital Questions and Answers
Alone and Unhappy In Second Marriage
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, This is my second marriage. In the first marriage my husband was too much, always wanting sex and all over me, very possessive. The possessiveness is what made me run away from the marriage. We had a beautiful girl who is now six. I'm now in my second marriage. I am totally in love with him. When we met we were always making time for one another. Planning things together and making love at least once a day. He did special things for me and was very romantic and gentle. That is why I married him.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been remarried for almost two years. We both have teenagers. I am very easy going, but when it comes to bathing, it is a must. My kids have to shower and wash their hair everyday, yet when my husband's kids are over, two girls, 13 and 16, he does not make them bathe every day or wash their hair. This upsets me so much. I would think they would want to do this. He says it is not important to him, but it is to me. My husband gets upset if the kids do not rinse out their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
Q & A: Abusive Second Marriage
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been married to my present husband for five years. It is the second marriage for both of us. Both of our spouses from previous marriages were having affairs. I have two children from my first marriage and my husband has four children from his previous marriage. Our marriage started out great and we got along perfectly. Recently, we have started growing apart. My husband drinks a lot, he tends to get violent when he drinks.
Q & A: Dealing with Divorce Baggage
Dear WholeFamily, I'm a divorced man with a son age 11. I have fallen in love with a wonderful divorced mother of two daughters with "divorce baggage". She has a very troubled daughter and I suggested to my friend that she should go into therapy. Now she feels I'm intrusive for suggesting it and wants to break off the relationship. I love this person and her daughters for sharing so much wonderful time with my son and me, but now she's angry and doesn't want to see me.
Trouble At Home
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband dislikes the company of my son. My son wants to come visit me for my birthday. My husband told me that when my son comes to visit, he would go out for the day, as he doesn't want to be in my son's company. #1- What do I tell my son, who I know is going to ask me where my husband is? #2- Am I being unreasonable in expecting my husband to "grow up" and deal with it? I told him that when people get married they sometimes do things they may not be comfortable with out of love and respect for the other person. Am I wrong? This is not a one-time thing, as my husband has told me that he will never be around at any point when my son is.
Verbally Abusive Against Stepson
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Please help me in this matter. I am a divorced woman, and I have an eight years old son with me. This year he is not doing too well in school, The school already told us that if he is not doing well in the coming 6 weeks, he will probably remain in the third grade. My son who is a very bright individual, but a bit lazy at time. I feel that because I work a lot and I did not put enough time to teach him on his school work, and that is probably the main reason why he is not doing well in school. At this moment, I have a fiancé who lives with us. I think he is too hard on my son. Sometimes my fiancé would put my son down, and say thing like you are so dumb that you will probably stay in the third grade until you turn 21 years old, and at that time, you will probably be kick out from school.
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