Sunday, 17 September 2000

Welcome Home: The Drama Triangle, an Introduction

Written by  Michael Tobin

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In the classic triangle, the roles shift between the two people as they take on three different roles: victim, rescuer, and persecutor.

In this drama, the couple compete for the preferred status of victim. The partners each claim to suffer and then expect their partner to take on the role of rescuer. They compete for victimhood and when neither wins, they become persecutors, blaming and attacking the other for their problems and pain.

We have included a subtext, to show what each one is really thinking during their argument.

Note the opening moves of the drama triangle. At 7:00 PM, Candace, 34, a stay-at-home mom, is exhausted. Dinner needs to be made and the kids need to be put to sleep. As soon as Mark, 38, a public interest lawyer, walks in the house, Candace accosts him, demanding that he take care of her. He counters by insisting that by dint of his hard work and his drive home in the rain, he is the rightful victim. Then they progress to blaming and attacking.

View the Drama!

Last modified on Tuesday, 24 January 2012 18:53
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Michael Tobin

Michael Tobin

Dr. Michael Tobin has been a psychologist since 1974, specializing in marital and family therapy. He is the author of numerous articles on marriage and family relationships and is the founder of He's  been married to Deborah for 38 years and is the father of four children and grandfather to five.

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