Birth Control, STD's and Pregnancy

Roger (40) and Lisa (42), the parents of Becky(14), are in the kitchen, having a cup of late night herbal tea, and discussing their daughter. Roger is a journalist and Lisa is a C.P.A. Roger: You what? Lisa: I made an appointment at the gynecologist. For Becky. Roger: For what? Lisa: For birth control. Roger: What are you thinking? She's only 14.

Dear WholeMom, My daughter is almost 17. I was cleaning her room and found a used pregnancy testing "stick". It was wrapped in a paper towel in a little used cabinet in her room. The upsetting thing about this is that this is a child who excels in school, will likely get a full scholarship to the school of her choice and never leaves the house without telling me she loves me. I have always talked to my children about sex, consequences as it relates to health, pregnancy and the sometimes emotional turmoil that early intimate relations can result in.

This story illustrates a sad but real problem with teenagers, since risk behaviors tend to "clump together" with many teens. In other words, it's very common for a teen who starts having sex at a very young age to contract one or more sexually transmitted diseases (STD's) AND to have a pregnancy at a young age, AND to be the victim of sexual abuse, AND to have educational problems, AND to have severe family problems, etc.

Well, I just want to tell my story of how I got pregnant and how I live my life today.

I'm 17 years old and I have never had sex but I've been with this guy off and on for about a year and I went to his house and we fooled around. His penis never entered me but I didn't have my period last month. I've been very stressed out totally between working two jobs and everything. I also have been taking diet pills. Do you think there is any chance I could be pregnant? It may sound stupid but I'm a little worried. I don't get sick in the morning or anything. What's wrong with me?

You're late. At first you figure it's just nerves. After all, you took precautions. I mean, you were always careful, except maybe that one time... So you buy one of those home pregnancy tests. You sneak it into the house and spend one crazy, long night reading the instructions over and over again. The next morning, your entire being becomes fixated upon that unmistakable, red POSITIVE circle sitting at the bottom of a plastic tube. For the first time in your life, you understand the full meaning of the word "panic".

Q: I was wondering if you could help me out with a problem. I have tried and tried to go on a diet - I even tried diet pills and they just don't work! I work out sometimes, I play basketball all the time, but it never seems to help any!!! All my friends are really skinny and pretty and I feel like I shouldn't even be friends with them 'cause of what they look like.

Speaker is school guidance counselor. Terri is outside his office, crying. - Terri - you O.K.? - Well, your eyes are red and you look real down. - Whoa, why are you crying? Come with me to my office. - Here, have a glass of water. - What's going on? - I understand you don't want to tell me but I think maybe I can help. I'll also promise you that I won't do anything without talking it over with you first. Nothing behind your back , O.K.? - So what's wrong? - You think you're pregnant or you're sure you're pregnant.

Angela was 14 the first time she had sexual intercourse. "I was the fourth child," she remembers. "By the time I came around, my mother and step-father - both alcoholics - had no energy left to discipline me." "I didn't have a curfew. I stayed out as late as I wanted." Angela admits that she had low self-esteem. "I didn't know how to say no. My father left the family when I was three. I guess I was looking for a father figure." The father figure Angela found was a nineteen-year-old friend of her brother.

Two little blue lines. Not one. Two. You are going to be a Mom. How did this happen to me, you ask? Well...I don't think I need to draw you a map. OK. Time to breathe. And then it's time to think. Hard. First things first: Tell your parents (or guidance counselor, who can help you tell your parents), and tell your lover. Easier said than done, I know, but if you were grown-up enough to have sex, you are grown-up enough to face the unpleasantness of these confrontations. Next: Consider your options. First, you could decide to raise the baby. As a mother, I can tell you that this choice should not be taken lightly.